Some Very Creative Captions...

One advantage of the bare winter yard is that it's actually easier to spot wildlife.  I love seeing what the birds and critters are getting up to in the winter (well, except for when they are munching on things I don't want them to eat...)  I also loved seeing the captions these people had for the photos in my last post:

Alistair: Come on then, put out the grub!

Pam: You must have eyes like a hawk to get this picture.

Jane: Does my bum look big in this?

Pam: What IS Indie up to?

Alistair: Cooee is anyone there?

Jane: Doh! She's spotted us!

Rose: "And this, Bambi, is the best dinner buffet in town!" 

Alistair: Sniff, sniff, I asked for a nutty bagel.

Michelle: What no cream cheese?

Pam: Where's the lox?

Donna: Where's the Cream Cheese?

Jane: Nom nom, scoff, scoff

Thank you to all of you who came up with the great captions!  You guys are more creative than me!  It's a cooold day where I am, so I'm sitting inside while enjoying watching the birds swoop around the bird feeder.  I hope everyone is staying warm!

A Strange Mist Hath Appeared

You might think it was mist floating around my stone bench this Halloween.

But no, 

it's not mist.  

It's no decoration for Halloween.

Anyone want to hazard a guess?

I'll give you a clue - it's plant material of some sort.

My stone garden bench sits near my retention pond, in which there is a good sized clump of cattails growing.  The abundance of whiteness next to my bench is what is probably 

millions 

and millions

of cattail seeds.

They had some help getting there.

If you can imagine two little girls throwing cattail seeds up in the air, making it 'snow', sometimes to the tune of the movie Frozen's 'Let It Go', you will have a good picture of what went on here.

Next year we might have a larger clump of cattails.

Like a whole field of them.

My kids are going to have a ball.

Bad Easter Bunny

Dear Easter Bunny,
Every year I have welcomed your presence despite the sugar comas and unnecessary calories you have added to our lives.  I usually even enjoy your coming, as my kids do love the fun and candy you bring.

But was this really necessary?

half-eaten tulip plants

You obviously decided to take a snack break right in my garden.  With my tulips.

Don't look so smug, rabbit.

I know you work hard on Easter and that my tulips probably looked like bunny candy to you, but really?  Isn't that against the holiday spirit or something?

I doubt these will bloom now..

Next year, dear Easter bunny, I think you owe me some flower bulbs for my Easter basket.  In fact, I think I would prefer that to candy anyway!  And in return, I have lots of nice, yummy weeds that you are more than welcome to nibble on along the way.  

Help yourself to all the dandelions and crabgrass you want - but stay away from my tulips!

p.s.  My kids probably still want candy.

The Mystery of the Disappearing Bench

MISSING: 

Red House Garden Bench

It stands about 3 feet high, is made out of Tennessee sandstone blocks, and weighs approximately eleventy gazillion pounds.

It was last seen in the backyard last fall.

Sometime in the last few months it has gone missing.

Search parties have been sent out, combing the backyard and nearby areas for the vanished bench, but to no avail.

Here at the Red House Garden we are following every possible lead, determined to track down how this bench disappeared and what malevolent forces could have carried out such a deed.  Garden authorities are currently in the process of rounding up and questioning the usual suspects.

photo source - Wikipedia

If anyone has any information pertaining to the whereabouts of this garden bench or would like to report possible suspicious Garden Gnome behavior in connection to this case (or in general), please contact your local garden authorities.

We certainly hope that this garden bench will be found in time for the spring gardening.  

The Battle Over the Pine Trees

When it comes to our family, I am the head gardener.  Since Mr. Red House is not much of an outdoor person and is actually allergic to a fair number of plants/trees/grasses, etc., I pretty much have free rein in the yard.  While Mr. Red House always appreciates the gardening I do, he doesn't usually have many opinions about the yard...

except when it comes to TREES.

a pine tree seedling in our backyard

Mr. Red House has never met a tree he didn't like.  If we ended up planting all the trees he wanted, I would have nothing but a shady woodland garden, and all of the trees would soon end up crowding out the house!  The only critique Mr. Red House has ever made of my garden is to point out where another tree might fit.  

He also doesn't like to cut down any trees - he's even dubious about me pruning.

But this Christmas I wanted to cut some pine boughs to make a fresh wreath for the door.  And with all the many pine seedlings we had in our yard, I was determined to cut some of them for their lush, densely-packed branches.

Mr. Red House was not happy.

young pine trees in our yard

We have lots of small pines in our woods, but Mr. Red House wanted all of them, no matter how tiny.  I wanted my wreath.  The battle was on!

more young pine trees in our yard

He wiled, he pleaded.  At one point he even connived the kids into standing in front of the targeted seedlings, using them as living barricades against my pruner and hampering my efforts..

...but I emerged victorious!  The pine branches made a beautiful wreath, don't you think?

Sorry, Mr. Red House, I think I'm going to have to cut fresh pine branches every Christmas!

*Mr. Red House regrets to inform you that several young pine trees were hurt in the making of this blog.*

Dear Garden, You Might be in Trouble..

Sorry to break it to you, dear future Garden, but some possible, uh, challenges have been spotted...

I have spotted Bunnies nibbling away at the wildflowers in the yard on several occasions.  The reason this particular Bunny looks so happy?  He knows a Garden is coming.

Yep, that would be a Deer.  Right in the back yard.  Eating something. (Please let it not be the blueberry bushes I planted back there!)

And the neighbor has seen a Groundhog on several occasions.

That might explain all those large holes in the ground back there.   

She's also found a 4 foot long Snake skin.  In a tree.  

(Yes, I know that the snake is actually not harmful to you, dear Garden, but it's still a challenge.  Have you ever wanted to know how little gardening gets done when the now fearful Gardener is constantly looking up?)

Just what we needed.  More Rodents.  This one seems to be of the Chipmunk variety.

And.. 

oh, no, could it be?

...

MUWAHAHAHA!

Aaahhhhhh!  It's the New England division of Squirrels!!!  

We're in trouble..

(for more information about these seemingly innocent Squirrels, please read my Mission Impossible: Squirrel Division post.)

Where in the World is..

...Carmen Sandiego!

Uh, make that Mrs. Red House!  My poor blog has been sitting in cyberspace being neglected for so long.  What have I been up to?  Well, we moved into our new not-so-red house and immediately started preparing to host a couple events leading up to my Sister-in-law's wedding, including the bridal shower.  (When we agreed to host said events, we had thought we would be moving into the house a month earlier.)  

Our poor new house still had just an open field of bare dirt for the front yard, nothing like this!

It was a whirlwind preparation which included us scrambling to buy some extra furniture, me baking at all hours of the night, and boxes of dirty dishes being hidden in the basement (shh.. don't tell my Mother-in-law!)  But in the end our house was ready(ish) and a great time was had by all.

Okay, time for a vacation now!

After the wedding was over a different kind of preparation started.  Suitcases were packed and vaccines were brought up to date - we were traveling to another country.   The honeymooning couple were meeting us in the country where Mr. Red House's grandparents live.   His grandparents had been unable to travel to Boston for the wedding, as it would have been too strenuous on them, and they really wanted to see our kids, who they still had not met.  So we brought the party to them!

Over the river and through the woods, to the Grandparents' house we go!

So where were we?  Any guesses?  All of the photos in this blog post were pictures I took in that country (most of them from a previous visit).  

Where in the world was Mrs. Red House?  The winner is entitled to 100 free Brownie points*!

* Brownie points may not be redeemed for actual brownies, about which Mr. Red House is very sad.

Why My Birds are Hungry

You turned my bird feeder upside down and are shaking out the birdseed?!

Ha, I've caught you this time!

Oh, don't give me that story about being framed!

Operation Vole Control - Setting up a Defense Perimeter

It's been a battlefield out there.  All year we have been besieged by that family of organized rodent crime - the Vole family.  Every single one of them has proven to be a serial plant killer, and these tunneling mice-like fiends are apparently also masterminds at avoiding all efforts to trap them.

We have finally pushed them back using deterrents made out of castor oil, but let's be honest - we know it isn't going to last.  

We need to set up a defense perimeter.  

Okay, troops, this is the plan:  we are going to surround our borders and valuable plants with what we hope will be Vole kryptonite - plants that are either poisonous or distasteful to Voles.  Daffodils have been trucked in by the dozens, and other plants resistant to these little monsters have been purchased.  

It is our solemn duty to see that our garden is protected - let's turn it into a veritable minefield for these creatures!

****Bulbs and Vole-resistant Plants included in our defense perimeter****

Daffodils, Alliums, Hyacinths, Grape Hyacinths, Snowdrops, Summer Snowflakes, Star Flower, Fritillaria, Hellebores, and Mountain Mint.

Other Vole-repellant plants for future consideration include:

Glory-of-the-Snow, Squill, Autumn Crocus, and Goldenrod

If any other Gardening Soldier out there knows of any other plants, intel is always appreciated.  

Disclaimer: This Garden Commander does not guarantee all of these plants listed to be completely Vole-proof - when it comes to these nefarious plant killers, all bets are off!

To your trowels, Soldiers - Operation Vole Control is a go!

Ten Perennials that You Might Be Able to Grow in Hell (Part 2)

My last post featured five plants that have survived the hottest, sunniest, driest part of my garden without a care (and certainly without my care).  Here are five more tough, drought tolerant plants for the Southern garden:

6. Sedum - common name: Stonecrop

Sedum 'Autumn Joy'

I think some of the Sedums in my yard live practically on air - I certainly don't water them!  I have some Sedum thriving on top of a green-roofed birdhouse.  I have some growing in the cracks of my driveway.  (I'm guessing it grew from a piece of Sedum that fell off the birdhouse when I tipped it over once.)  The only Sedums I have that don't flower well are the ones growing in my swampy side yard. 

7.  Agastache - common names:  Anise Hyssop, Hummingbird Mint

Agastache 'Grape Nectar'

I resisted planting Agastache for a long time, despite all the wonderful things I had heard about it.  The reason?  The leaves are said to smell like licorice, which I hate.  But I finally planted some, and the plants lived up to all the hype - they are tough, hardy plants, and the hummingbirds love them.  And I was thrilled to find that the leaves didn't smell exactly like licorice either.  Instead the scent is so pleasing that occasionally you may find me out in the garden petting and smelling my Agastaches. 

8.  Aclepias tuberosa - common name:  Butterfly Weed

Asclepias tuberosa

"Here you go.  Plant this in your garden.  It's a butterfly weed." Another gardener pulled what looked like a dried-up carrot out of her garden and handed it to me.  "Uh, okay," I said and later stuck it in my garden at the top of a hill and promptly forgot about it - until summertime, that is, when I was stopped in my tracks at the bright orange flowers.  Now it's a must-have in my garden.  This plant likes it sunny and dry, and, of course, the added attraction is that you will likely end up with some baby Monarchs if you plant them.

9.  Nepeta - common names:  Catmint, Catnip

Nepeta 'Limelight'

As I am writing this, I am shocked that I haven't brought any of my Nepeta inside to see what my cats' reactions will be to it.  Known for having a smell that is attractive to cats, Nepeta is also known for prospering in those sunny, dry spots that are a death knell to so many other plants.  Note: some of them may even prosper a little too much.  They are in the mint family, after all!

10.  Coreopsis - common name:  Tickseed

Coreopsis 'Full Moon'

This tough native is one of the flowers in which the Latin name is usually used instead of the common name (well, would you want to be called 'Tickseed'?)  Perennial Coreopsis are prolific bloomers, and they are often included in highway beautification programs.  Hey, if it will grow in a highway median, it will probably grow anywhere, right?

This concludes my list of 10 plants that have thrived in those scorching hot, dry spots in my North Carolina garden, even if they might not truly grow in Hell (I suspect Hell is full of crabgrass).

What plants would you pick to add to the list?

Ten Perennials that You Might Be Able to Grow in Hell (Part 1)

They've survived one of the hottest summers on record despite my complete and total neglect.  In fact, they're even thriving!  Here is my list of perennials that can take the glaring sun and the scorching heat we get in the Southeast - and live to tell about it.

1.  Rudbeckia - common name: Black-eyed Susans

Rudbeckia hirta 'Irish Eyes'

I have several different types of Rudbeckia, and there are usually some blooming at any given point from early summer until fall.  Nothing seems to stop them, not even this summer's record week of 105°F (40°C) temperatures. In fact, I still have a lot blooming (yes, it's mid-November).  They even politely seed a few babies around.  And the bees and butterflies love them.  And magic fairies sprout from them ready to grant wishes.

Okay, I might have been lying about the last part.  On to number 2...

2.  Gaillardia - common name: Blanket Flower

Gaillardia x grandiflora

Pretty much ditto everything from #1, including the magic sprouting fairies.  Gaillardia is a rather short-lived perennial often described as 'tough-as-nails.'

3. Salvia

Salvia guaranitica 'Black and Blue'

I've heard rumors of a few Salvias that like shade, but I'll bet you'd have to go looking for them.  I have Salvia by my mailbox, among other places, if that tells you anything.  Salvias come in many different colors and heights, which begets quite the dilemma - which one of the hundreds of heat-loving varieties do you like the best?  

4. Gaura lindheimeri - common names: Wand Flower, Beeblossom

Gaura lindheimeri 'Gaudwwhi'

With it's graceful, airy wands of darling little white or pink flowers, Gaura looks dainty and delicate.  Don't be fooled - it's anything but.  

5. Stachys - common name: Lamb's Ear

Stachys byzantina 'Helen Von Stein'

Whatever you do, just don't water this plant!  Apparently water is the Kryptonite of Lamb's Ear.  (I found that out the hard way.)  I've actually seen this plant growing on the side of a cliff.  By the way, if you do have this plant in your garden, congratulations - I'm sure you're the parent of several new Lamb's Ear plants by now!

What other plants made my Hell list of drought-tolerant, heat-loving plants?  Well, the next post will be coming soon!  Now if anyone needs me, I'll be busy petting my Lamb's Ears...

How to Design Your Very Own Halloween Garden

This just in, dear readers - ghastly gardens are all the rage this time of year!  I know what you're thinking: how can I design my very own spooky garden space?  Well, never fear!  Here are some tips to make your garden into a fabulously ominous space that no one will want to go into!

The first tip when designing a garden is to decide what the 'bones' of the garden are going to be.

photo source - Wikipedia

Er, uh, wrong type of bones (though a skeleton would make for some wonderfully dreadful garden art...) 

I was actually referring to the large, permanent plantings that give structure to the garden, such as trees and shrubs.  In your Halloween garden, you definitely want trees that give the most unwelcoming impression possible.

Chorisia speciosa (pictured above) is a delightful tree for your very own spooky retreat.  Trees that twist and gnarl are also acceptable - bonus points if the ones in your garden look like the evil trees from 'Wizard of Oz'!

For those of you in the Northeast that just lost a bunch of trees in the storm, you are in luck - nothing says 'Stay Away' better than a snarled bunch of downed trees littering up the yard!

In selecting shrubs for your creepy garden, think thorns.  Buckthorns, Roses (blood-red, of course!), Flowering Quince, and Ocotillo are but a few of the options available.

the fabulously razor-sharp thorns of Ocotillo

If those look too friendly for your taste, one can always use a nice, prickly cactus.  In fact, a whole yard full of cacti would be spectacularly spooky - and the neighborhood children's worse nightmare!

After you have found the most dreadful trees and shrubs possible, it is time to work on the next layer of your extra-special, gruesome garden - flowers.  I particularly like those that look like eyeballs.

 Actaea pachypoda,  Acmella oleracea

Other plants to keep an eye out for in nurseries or along the roadside include thorny or prickly weeds, carnivorous plants, and anything that looks remotely weird or foreboding.

When designing your one-of-a-kind, spooky garden, do not neglect the house.  One of the best ways to get a neglected, abandoned feel to your property is to plant a monstrous vine right next to the house.

Monster vine eating a building

You will know that you have succeeded if it is impossible to find the front door.  Up north, Boston ivy will easily grow into a monstrous vine.  For those of you who live in the Southeast, there is reason to rejoice - you can now get your Kudzu in either plain or variegated.

'Sherman's Revenge' Kudzu
- brought to you by Plant Delight's Nursery

Now, of course, if you really want a terrifying yard for Halloween, you could just drape everything with Poison Ivy..

I hope these tips have helped you in planning your very own ghastly garden space!  Have a happy Halloween, and enjoy watching all those kids try to get through your now fabulously menacing front yard to trick-or-treat!