First off, I want to thank you all for coming to this press release.
I know in the past we have had several criminal incidents at the Red House Garden. First we had a problem with the berries that were allegedly stolen by the
American Robin gang and then the ongoing problem with
nectar robbery, but we have never had criminal activity comparable to what is going on now. Yes, everyone, we have a serial killer on the loose!
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Victim #1 is a vine around 25 months old, often wearing small purple and white bells.
Identified as Clematis Pitcheri |
Suspicious activity was first noticed this winter with the appearance of small, golf ball-sized holes in the ground. Then we started seeing victims.
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| Another victim identified as Rosa Souvenir De La Malmaison |
There have been several killings, as well as several missing bulb reports that we are looking into. Several plants have survived the attacks and have just been wounded, however.
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| This victim is still in intensive care. Authorities are still working to determine his identity, though appearances suggest he is from the Carex family. |
We have noticed that this serial killer seems to be targeting victims on the fringes of the yard, next to wooded areas. The modus operandi has been the same for each incident: the killer tunnels under the ground and then, usually under the cover of night, strikes at the roots, biting them off and eating them.
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| Another homicide victim: Rosa Pat Austin |
We do have a suspect in mind - we are pretty sure that this killer is from the Vole family. So far this Vole has managed to elude authorities. Since this Vole usually only comes out at night, there have been very few eye witnesses; however, composite artists have managed to come up with a good likeness, with the help of
Wikipedia:
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| Vole, alias Field Mouse - wanted for questioning in connection with several killings at Red House Garden |
These are troubled times. We are asking that the general public be on alert for suspicious behavior, especially unusual holes in the ground and plants, oftentimes expensive ones, that seem to be inexplicably looking unhealthy or dying. Also alert the authorities if you find young trees that have been gnawed on near the base or girdled.
We shall now take questions from the press:
How can you be sure that this killer is not from the Mole family instead of a Vole? Good question, since Moles also leave similar holes in the ground. There is a
Mole family in the area, but the killer does not come from there - Moles do not eat plant roots. They eat worms, grubs, and nuts.
A mole has two types of tunnels: shallow raised tunnels and deep tunnels, which often have a little mound of dirt near the entrance of them. Neither raised tunnels nor mounds of dirt were found near the victims.
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| A raised tunnel right under the surface of the earth is from a Mole |
Are you sure that this serial killer is male? Perhaps it could be a female? Actually, 'Jack the Nibbler' could in fact very well be 'Jacqueline the Nibbler'. A female serial killer could lead to an even more serious problem - Voles are extremely prolific. One pregnant Vole can theoretically result in over 100 more plant and tree killing Voles in under a year! Ladies and Gentlemen, we could indeed see a hostile takeover of the Red House Garden by this Vole family before the year is out, unless action is taken.
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| Crime Scene - this plant has fallen over due to complete annihilation of its roots |
What can we do? How do we protect ourselves against this serial killer Vole?! There are several options. The most lethal involves putting mousetraps baited with apples or peanut butter under a flowerpot right near the tunnel entrance. There are also different poisons you can use, though you have to be careful so that other animals don't get into the poison. Or invite in a cat or other predator, such as an owl. Mounting owl nest boxes will attract owls to your yard.
Authorities here at the Red Houose tend to be tenderhearted, so we do prefer the non-lethal means. There are non-lethal traps, such as the Havahart ones, so that you can trap the Voles and release them far, far away. You can also repel Voles with sprays or granules that contain Castor oil or Capsaicin, making the vegetation unpleasant tasting, and surround roots of plants with sharp gravel that Voles will not like to dig in.
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| Castor oil spray has worked well so far for the Red House Garden, though it needs to be reapplied after a lot of rain. |
Voles are attracted to lots of mulch, brush piles, and other more natural areas that offer them protection from predators. They also enjoy bird seed and fallen fruit that you might have in your garden.
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Voles like mulched areas and areas under bird feeders.
We're in trouble. |
Once the voles have been repelled or taken from the area, it is a good idea to put a fence around the garden if possible, burying the fence about a foot down into the ground.
Is there anyone who doesn't have to worry? Are there any plants that the Vole will not target? Daffodils are not in any danger, as they are poisonous and repelling to Voles. Other plants that are not as likely to be victim to Voles are Goldenrod, Grape Hyacinth, Hellebores, Elephant Ears, Salvia, Siberian Irises, Mints, and plants in the Onion family.
Though you never know with a killer such as this Vole. This could spell big trouble. We shall keep the public posted on any further developments.
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| Remembering the victims... |
